Suppose that I gave you a deed to the house which has not yet been built but had arranged paperwork in such a manner as to make me legally responsible for building the house over a span of 18 years at a cost of my time and approximately $200,000. I had no reason to do this other than my wanting to build a house for you; I WANT to be successful at building a house, and I want a house to be built for you; again, this cost is an obligation which I am taking upon myself by my own volition.
Assuming that I successfully build the house, I can be proud of the fact that I have built it, after all, I set out to build it because I wanted to; even if you didn't thank me for it, I know that I completed it in a satisfactory manner. If I am expecting some manner of gratitude or respect for my being kind to you or building a house for you, I may as well not undertake that labour or obligation, because there is no way to know if you will be grateful anyhow. It would certainly be nice if you did thank me and you probably would if I did a nice job, but you are required to, because I built the house due to my desire to build one for you. If I set out to build a house, I ought to do so under the assumption that I will not be receiving any gratitude, that way I will not be disappointed if I receive none, because none is owed to me, or I will be happy because I've receive gratitude, though non was owed to me. Additionally, it would be highly pleasing to me if you did live in, which is to say, didn't destroy, the house which I built for you.
This is comparable to parent having children. If they have set out to have children because they find it rewarding to raise children or because, for some other reason, they want to, they have received their reward by being able to successfully raise a child; the child owes nothing to them. The only thing that I think a parent could request is that a child keep their own life, even so, the child has no obligation to do so; presumably, if the parent does a good job, the child choose to keep their own life anyway. If I choose to have a child because I want it to respect me, I should reconsider the option because my motivations are cloudy and will likely result in the sub-par parenting.
The only difference I see is that if you don't build someone a house, they still will have other opportunities to own/live in a house. As an unborn child the only opportunity you have to become a child would be through your parents. Granted you also have no choice in the matter. Im not sure what difference this makes, but it is a difference.
ReplyDeleteIf the house sucks though, there's a good chance I'd find a new one, as soon as I can afford to. This would be analgous to no longer needing the broken down shack of neglectful parenting and leaving to find a new house. Family is what you make it of, and it's never too late to replace your parents if they house they built for you is unacceptable. However, they still built you an awful house, so a minimal amount of gratitude is obligatory if they are in fact to be replaced. Some people never wanted a house built for them in the first place; they are eternally disapointed at no fault of their own or their parents.
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